Not gloating per se

Just a friendly reminder why SoCal is so amazing. Relaxing with some dolphins at sunset on Sunday :)

Never thought it'd be possible

As a tutor, I've visited some pretty amazing families in the LA area. I had a new client recently in Beverly Hills. Not in the fake Beverly Hills, that area between Sunset and Wilshire. But an actual house in the actual hills of Beverly. What made this house particularly amazing? When I stepped up to their front door, knocked, and turned around I was treated to a full panoramic view from Century City to Downtown. Stunning. Beautiful. Amazing. Walking through their front door, I was greeted with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the other half of the LA skyline - Century City to the ocean. With mandatory pool. Location, indeed.

It was so beautiful and stunning. To top it all off, sitting there on side table gleamed a SAG award and an Emmy.

If you had told me at any point in my life that I would ever walk into house like this, with Hollywood talent like that, I would have laughed. Only in LA.

New Rule

At the first sign of picking up a tab at a bar that clearly does not belong to me - please just take my money/cards/wallet away from me. Give me a stern look. And just say "New rule in effect."

St. Patrick's Day was quite the experience. With my sister in town for the best holiday in March, I was adamant about starting early. So with my encouragement we hit our first bar at 12. A few games of darts and some green beer, we moved on down the beach to the Irish bar of choice, O'Brien's. It was great. $10 cover. No specials. No green beer. After meeting a slew on interesting people, using Kelly as old man bait and receiving free Jameson shots from the bartender who knew me as "a Sunday regular", we moved on to the next bar.

At this point things start to get a little more hazy. We left O'Brien's to meet up with V and C at another watering hole, which was not an Irish Bar and had specials. Lots and lots of specials. Without a cover. Hurray! Now here is where my memory starts to play hopscotch. When the bill came for the 6 people I was with. I refused to let anyone else pay. I was rewarded for my efforts with a delicious car bomb. But at this point, from now on, the new rule would go into effect. But let's all see what happens next :)

Andy picked up Kay, Kelly, and myself to head to the Parlor. I don't remember the car ride up to my apartment. There is a brief flash of taking a Patron shot, poured for me by Andy, and then we are walking up the street. So this is when I take the night to ludicrous speed. It may be obvious that I am a generous drunk. How generous you may ask?

(Being filled in on this the next morning)

As we passed some of SM's generic homeless people, they wished us a Happy St Patrick's Day. We returned in kind. They asked if we had any food. I offered to take them out to dinner. No. Seriously. To dinner. With Andy and Co staring at me in disbelief, I tried to get out two new homeless companions into the Parlor. No such luck. So I took them up the street for some India food. Sit down meal. Conversation. The works. They both had the lamb. They were really friendly guys. I do not recall what we talked about. And then after getting a $53 bill I asked them if they wanted/needed anything else. Off we went to CVS for an 18-pack of Bud and some cigarettes. Another $23. So for those unable to do quick math, I spent $76 in less than an hour on two homeless gentlemen.

I now met back up with Andy and Co at the Parlor. They were in awe. I was in awe. And then I had a green beer. We went from there to a diner to meet Ben and Shanee. I regaled everyone of my misadventures through the day. And upon leaving - this unfortunate diner has windows on all walls facing the street - danced for everyone still sitting in at their booths. Like danced. Alone. To the music in my head. Like Napoleon Dynamite. Don't worry. It's on video somewhere.

So that was St. Patrick's Day.

What we learned:

1) I am a generous drunk.

2) Starting a conversation with homeless guys, causes less anxiety than talking to women.

3) Non-Irish bars are a much better option than Irish bars on St. Patrick's Day

4) Sometimes you just have to dance.

I would like some flab with that

So it seems my last set of posts was enough to make someone stop reading my blog publicly. That always stings just a little bit. You know -- right here. I definitely take it too personally and for those of you sticking around, thank you. For posts that you don't find exciting enough, please leave a comment ("boring", etc.) so I know that the zero comments are because people don't care, not because you have no comment.

So. On the six hour, 265 mile drive home from Yosemite, as a sort of project, my car decided to keep a tally of the number of fast food establishments we could see from the high way. We were quite amazed at the results.

In no specific order:
Subway - 15
A&W - 2
KFC - 6
Carl's Jr - 11
Jack in the Box - 15
McDonald's - 17
Taco Bell - 13
Burger King - 10
In-n-Out - 5
Wendy's - 4
Starbucks - 7
Denny's - 18

So I think there are two shocking things we can take from this list.

1) Denny's, unsuspectingly, is more prolific than McDonald's. Which is mind boggling because McDonald's, in my opinion, completely saturates the market as is. Not really sure how Denny's can do it. ESPECIALLY because it sucks.

2) In the same vein, along this route, there was a McDonald's restaurant every 15.5 miles. Amazing. That really just blows my mind.

Last thing for today

WHAT FOUR POSTS IN ONE DAY?!?!

I know. Crazy. Just wanted to say that this weekend I am going snowshoeing in Yosemite National Park. I super stoked. As should you. Because come Sunday night/Monday expect some awesome pictures. Until then, enjoy your weekend.

Sad times

Sports Update:

Hard times have fallen on Balls and Dolls. After a cancellation due to weather last week, we picked up our first L of the season. So much for going undefeated. Some have postulated that we could have avoided defeat had 90% of the team not participated in a Valentine's Day bar crawl that lasted 14 hours in Hermosa Beach. Sure it seemed like a good idea yesterday -- but today's lack luster performance may be traced to yesterday's frivolity. However, it was definitely worth it. Yay bar crawls! Glad tomorrow is a holiday so I can recover... I need it

Balls and Dolls
W - L
2 - 1

TWSS #3-7

San Diego Weekend Excursion

# 3 "and catch it all in my mouth" - Holly
called by Andy

# 4 "it's just so thick" - Laura
called by Andy and I

# 5 "she came first, then I followed" - Laura
called by Holly

# 6 "this thing keeps leaking all over the place" - Laura
called by Andy

# 7 "Just force it. It will work" - Andy
called by myself

A Great Little Saturday

So I have two big posts that I need to write to recap today, but because today was so awesome I need to get some sleep first. Here are two pictures though -- to hold you through until I can update. Just to give you a sweet sweet taste
I know, it's just a sandwich. But it is the sandwich that rules all sandwiches with an iron fist. The Cadillac of sandwiches.
And yes -- those are monster trucks. More to come...

A tad late...

... but still a fairly warming picture. Happy Belated Holidays!
for the first time in 8 years the White House seems to be a symbol of hope. I definitely have my fingers-crossed

For your knowledge

This is what the cool kids look like when hanging outside the Met Art Museum --


now you know...

WARNING

Do not count this as a real post...

Now children, you should never get so drunk that squatting against a glass divider in Penn Station at 3:50am seems like a reasonable idea.

Exhibit A.

Overheard In DC

While a full update of my trip DC will be following shortly. Here is a brief snippet. This is in the same vein as "Overheard in NY", but it was too good a quote to pass up.

Tough looking black dude to his smaller, nerdier black hipster friend:

"You know what really sucks, when you think Lollipop is coming on but then it's the Lollipop Remix"

Drunken Ramblings

Watching The Dark Knight on Blue-Ray is like watching God masturbate!

Last Joshua Tree Post

To round out the day, we traveled from Arch Rock, on one side of the park, as the sun was setting, to the far side of the park and Keys View. The temperature dropped precipitously after the sunset and by the time we reached the top it was 35F outside, with a biting 30 mph wind. Keys View has a viewing area that sits at 5,185 ft and overlooks the Coachella Valley, specifically the city of Palm Springs. I didn't know this, but Palm Springs is the gayest town in America, with the highest percentage of "out" people in the country. Keys View also overlooks the San Andreas Fault -- in the full dark, it was visible as a black area that lacked any development.

Looking to the east and south you could see the whole of Coachella Valley shimmer and sparkle. Just like LA. I have never seen cities on the East Coast sparkle, have you? East Coast cities seem to just glow -- emanating light constantly, like a light bulb -- while LA, and now the Coachella Valley, truly sparkle. Interesting...

Joshua Trees

This is going to be a harder task than I thought it would. I have been telling myself for the last few days that I wanted to write something about the types of personalities Joshua trees convey. But now looking back over my pictures, I've realized that many of the best examples of Joshua tree personalities are either not on my camera or occurred later in the afternoon, when I had exhausted my attempts to document every tree in the park. But I will give it the old college try.
This picture occurred early in the day and was taken from the car. Look at how the tree in the foreground seems so regal -- sprouting all those extra branches, laughing at the other trees further from the road. I really don't like the snotty attitude I am getting from the tree, but it's a good example of the diversity. Look at the scrawny tree with no branches in the background just to right, now there is a tree I can relate to :)
And this one. It looks a mommy and a baby Joshua tree. I might stop right here, with my attempts to personify the pictures I have and outsource this to Ben K. He is much better at it than I am. And has some much more inspired pictures. But for one last picture from the day --
Now while it may be hard to see. This is the view to the Northeast from the top of Ryan Mountain. Each one of those small smudges between the base of the mountain and those so climbable rock piles is a Joshua tree. They must love it so much up there in the high desert.

Rock Memories

So a word to the wise. If you are looking for Skull Rock in Joshua Tree Natl Park, do not stop at the first sign you come to claiming "Skull Rock", get out of the car and head south of the road towards a rock the could possibly be Skull Rock, but might not be. Unless you want to stumble across a collection of rock sculptures. This is what we did. Seeing the first sign, Andy, Ben and myself pulled to the side of the road and walked into the wilderness. Probably the best thing we could have done.

After meandering along a dried riverbed, we came upon an area that had clearly been frequented by people. Along the normal outcroppings of Joshua Tree rock formations, people had collected and began placing loose rocks into patterns and designs. I wish I had captured more on my camera. But suffice it to say, there was the standard "L 'hearts' T", "FREINDS" [sic] and then some not so usual ones, including a smiley face, a rock snow man, and then these two shapes which I do have pictures of: This was so perfectly done. It must have taken ages.
The stone this person used for the head was just so perfect. The shape is exactly like a birds head. We all marveled at the site of collected human creativity. Ben was humbled by the number of people who had obviously spent many hours collecting and designing these rock patterns. He was even jubilant at the thought that so many people came and left permanent memories that could be so easily removed and had no negative impact on the ecosystem. We continued to the rock that might have been Skull Rock, and collectively decided it definitely wasn't. Taking another route back to the car, still looking for the elusive Skull Rock we came across this formation:
From there we covered some great terrain - including a deep gully cut into the rocks after eons of torrential rains and flash floods. The view from the bottom was breath taking and I immediately snapped a picture.
And of course, because life is filled with irony, this route back to road, dumped us directly next to the actually Skull Rock. You can see it from the road and it has a sign that can be seen from the roadway that points directly to it -- in case you happened to be blind and missed it. While it did resemble a Skull, at that point I didn't feel like taking a picture of it. The view from the top was nice though--
Ben, Andy and two fellow adventures looking for not so elusive Skull Rock.

So Glad I live in California

After a late night of spreading holiday cheer and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, I dragged myself out of bed for an amazing Sunday adventure. Ben K., Andy, and myself left sunny Santa Monica this morning at 9am heading east.

We traveled to one of California's prolific national parks, Joshua Tree. Yes, this morning I started out a Joshua Tree virgin, and this evening returned smiling and satisfied.For those of you who have never traveled through California, this state never ceases to amaze me. The number of different ecosystems and unique geography seems endless, and sometimes I think it might be. Here the landscape seems so starkly lunar and martian, appearing barren and lifeless.
And yet here in this harsh, high desert environment spanning from mountain range to mountain range, is home to some amazing wildlife, including the Joshua Tree. Now don't let it's short stature fool you, just because it is vertically challenged doesn't mean it is without wisdom. Joshua trees can grow to be THOUSANDS of years old and have been growing to such old age in the park unmolested. Here you can see Ben and Andy posing with our first Joshua tree friend.
These trees have such rich character. Each one striking a different pose, varying their branches and their heights and their girth. They all look like they are trying to tell you a tale and be your friend.

The day was intense. Of course we immediately climbed the first giant pile of rocks we came across.
And stood like immortals overlooking our domain.
And the landscape was so epic. With these boulder structures ranging in size and form. From "loosely" gathered piles to solid rocks that had been shaped by wind and water.
We walked the Ryan Mountain trail - a trail that only covers 1.5 miles horizontally, but climbs a 1,000 ft vertically simultaneously.
Yes Ben is shoeless. It's a thing he does. I will have to post more about our specific adventures tomorrow. But I will leave you with two photos summing up the end of the day.
Arch Rock. Me. No big deal. :)
And the last picture, as the sun dipped below the mountains.