A Story of Grad School Absurdity

So I felt that considering the title of my blog is Grad School Prison, I should actually write a post about graduate school, as opposed to the random thoughts that strike my psyche while locked in it's confines.

This is a story about the effort (and absurdity) used to lure next year's pure and innocent prospective students to select our bitter and used department for 6 long years of a cold, unloving relationship.

Each year, graduate departments in the major sciences around the country fly out prospective students to meet faculty and students and hold interviews (this is a prime example of academic wining and dining). My department hosted 25 prospective students. TWENTY-FIVE! This number may not sound absurd out of context -- but let's consider the number of research faculty in the department. I believe the number is currently around 11. Which means, that even if every faculty member was to invite a new student into their lab, they'd not be inviting 14. Here's the rub, approximately 4 faculty are accepting/have funding for students.

So as a current grad student answering questions, when someone asks, "What are the chances of me getting in?". I'd have to reply, "Not good. especially, if you want to work with [insert name here]."

Now let's consider how much money it costs to fly out 25 individuals. And then wine and dine them for 48 hours --
25 x $300/per flight = $7,500
2 x rental vans (+ gas) = $120
13 rooms in the Leows Hotel on Ocean Blvd, listed as $319/room, but let's assume the number of rooms resulted in a group rate, $250/room = $3,250
Dinner for 30 people at Budda's Belly = $900
Dinner for 30 people at Marisol's with an open bar = $???? (Any guesses?)

Again, you may be asking me what is the big deal? --

Historic fact: last year the 15 prospective students (6 of whom were accepted) stayed here. And the year before, for my year (20 prospective students, 13 accepted) they put us up here. It was in Palos Verdes. Not close to the beach. Not close to a bar. Not close to anywhere of interest.

While some of this may sound like resentment over not receiving the royal treatment myself. A lot my aggravation is due to the bait-and-switch method such used on graduate students. As they have shown, time and again -- once they have us in their clutches, the romance goes out the window and out comes the ball gag (forgot I was trying to use a romance metaphor). Such an example would be this year's attempt to cancel the yearly retreat. Something that had already been pushed back from last semester. Something that the new students need in order to be meet everyone in the department. I know too many 4th year students who have never met any of the 1st year class. And They attempted to cancel the event, using an excuse of lacking funds. I wonder where it all went.

I should get a tatoo that reads: "Modern Indentured Servant"